I Love You
So I’m writing this on here because its easist for me to go back and forth between pages. I want you to knkw i am sonhappy you let me into your life and thst i was able to get to know you to the depth that i have. Excuse the lack of capital i’s, im lazy. Anyway, reading through your old blog posts made me realize you and i were more alike than i thiught. I cant believe someone who seemed as confident and looked as good as you felt “socially awkward”. You were amazing with me when i got to finally talk to you more but i guess that came with the alocohol and the fact that i was “attractive” since apparently that was easier for you. Boy am i glad im the only woman you care to be close to now. That and i dont know why youd trust wonen better considering your history and the fzct thstvwomen suck, most if them anyway. I want to acknowlege a couple things. First, regardkess of if you felt like you lacked qualities to uplift someone elses life or not, the relationships you were i were incapable of being uplifted becUse of how unhealthy they were, that it not a load you shoukd have ever carried. Now, in general i understand the feeling of not being abke to uplift someone else due to being low on yourself hiwever i have dtill always tried. Thatd where yoy and i were/are the same, constantly striving to uplift others even when we couldnt donthat for ourselves. The people you were dating however did not end the way they did because of you. I hope that you feel differently about that now.
Also, you and i have pasts that inclyde a lot of self sacrifice. I understand that comlletely and i think thats why it is so easy vor us to nit ket each other ever sacrificw our feelings and always encourage opennes and communication regarding feelings because we both dont want the ither to feel like they are sacrificing themselves.
Its funny tonread you talking about being different and lacking confidence bavk then because thsts what i saw in you. I really wish i woukd have thrown vaution to the wind and talked to you more because we woukd have been a whirlwind of lifiting each other up, but i thi k God thought it would be more important for us to lesrn how to do that on our own, but still put us i each others lives so when the right time came we would already be around each other.
I believe you dress wwonderfully, im glad you have a balance regarding family now considering all the negatives. Cotact is important until it effects your health like it was. And your sister, well i dont care if you ever contact her.
Im so glad you and i had the same problems with patience, seriously, that sloth crossing the road was spot on! You have helped me tremendously with my patience since ive kniwn you though. And i thank you for that.
Im so glad i have been abke tonhelp you give up some of your feelings of shame and open your heart. You had lingering feelings because you hadnt truly given those things to God. Not if you were still holding on to them, and i cant express to you enough how happy i am to know you thus way and to knkw those things and to be able to help you release them. You are an incredible person and i …totslly lost where i was going with that thought, but there is so much besuty in yiur heart and soul and i just admire you so much and am so thankful and lucky to have you.
And honey, if you were a pig like you say most guys are, i wouldnt be with you, so i reslly hope you dont think of yourself thst way, or that there sre things yiu arent telking me… lol
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Im so proud and exvited to be a part if your fitness revolution! Haha!,
Saaaaaasaaaaaaame here. In regsrds to feeling like i always had to fight for things, thst that feeling woykd never go away. Youbsaw that part if me come out with you. I fought toith and nail with the chris thing. THAT was worth it. Would do that over smd over. You and i both fought fornthe wrong people in the past. Inclufing sfter you wrote that. But we bith learned and were able to mucb easier get ourselves out of those situstions jnstead of letting ourselves fester in them. You jniw, younwere guarded when i met you, even a bit at the new years party, as you admitted with the intimidation factor…but you were still awesome! I was with you too though as i just admitred in the car. You and i both broje free from that and continued to grow as individuaks until wr finalky came together. And man did we come together beautifully!
The thing is that we still had to ve wrong a ciupke more times. I thoughf chris was the right decisuon at the time, i thought all that was a good durection change and stuff but i was wtong. Im pretty sure yoy wete dating melussa when you wrote that. And you were wtong agsin too. That was a bad fight, abd another lesson leatned.im not sure if thsts who you were referencing in thwt or not, but it makes the most ti eline sense. Ill admit its weird reafinv you tslj sbout soneone else like thst. Im glaf THAT wadntbwhat you were fighting fir alk aling begore you kbew it existed. Im gkad i was thst person and that i blew everyone else away. Im glad you had to go through that stress again begore ne vecause it made ME the one that took that stress away fir goid. But so you did think thst soneobe else might be it… thats ok though, as long as i was the quicjest, most intensr, and the only one you avtuslky said it to, consideting yoy alrwafy gad me believing thst.
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Im glad i read all this about you. Makes me know yoy even better and understand that you and i do hsve oyr differences thst we can use yo hekp balanceceach other, but thst we also have so so much in common and such similar pasts of stress snd fighting and depression and ups and diwns that we can truly understand eachbothet on a kevel that no obe else coukd ever touch. I do wish i woyld have kniwn alk thst aboyt yoy gsvk then and falken into you mire, but like i said, regsrdkess of thst beibg what i wanted fir my llife, God had ither olans for us first, but we still ended up together when he wanted us to. You are the most increfible oerson i havevever known, you have chanfed my life in so many ways. From helping me disvover the rightboath for mysrkfm to helping ne find balance, to makunf me feel more orotected and loved and dared for than i ever thought pissible. I thank you for being exavtly eho you are and for shating your kufe with me. I truly dedicate all if me to you firever. You are unconditionslky my soul mste. Thank you for chsnging my lufe, helping me grow even more than i had, and for being exactky what i wantef abd needed. Thank you for letting me in to everynarea of your beautiful hesrt and fir inckuding me in every area of your life. I love you with everythibg i have